From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize