I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
