Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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