i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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