Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
