I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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