I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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