and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
