MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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