Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
