Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize