i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
