just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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