So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
