your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
