Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
