And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
