I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
