I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
