i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
