so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
