This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
