i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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