Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
