Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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