2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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