That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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