do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize