Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
