discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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