Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
