And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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