Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
