Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize