i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
