Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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