How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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