yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
