Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
