I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
