Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is the high leading the old right now
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
