so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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