Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
