Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
