susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
