Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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