YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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