Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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