I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
