remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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