Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
