Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
did you just send me my own nude
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
