Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
