So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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