so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
