I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
