I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
