I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
