Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize