The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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