I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
