my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do vagina's smell?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Two words: blizzard sex
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
