The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
