I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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